Have you ever been riding an escalator when it has been shut off? You know, just enjoying the physical exertion free ride up from the Metro station of your choice while listening to the musical stylings of Jay-Z on a lovely Thursday evening. Tomorrow is Friday. The benefit you just went to was super great. You ate delicious lamb for dinner. You looked super adorable today. Life is grand. And then out of no where, you are so confused. Your feet stop moving, but your body continues. In a matter of seconds all of these thoughts go through your mind:
HOLY SHIT I AM GOING TO FALL!
I SWEAR I AM NOT DRUNK! Wait, am I drunk? How many glasses of wine did I have- one, two, three….
It’s my heels! I swear it is my heels!
Damnit, I’m going to rip a hole in my new tights.
And this is going to be so embarressing. Is anyone watching?
HOLY SHIT, I AM GOING TO FALL DOWN.
Suddenly, you realize, WAIT! I didn’t fall. Awesome. It all makes sense. Metro sucks. And the escalator is stupid. Metro turned it off. Problem solved.
And then you have to walk up 20 very large escalator steps, all the while thanking god you cut back on those Parliment Lights. And for Jay Z, naturally.