I’ve been sick. The slightly queasy, slightly achy, headache, stomach ache, I’m actually convinced I am faking the entire time sick. I grew up in a household that didn’t exactly believe in sick. My mother didn’t let us stay home from school unless there was visible vomit, blood or high temperature. ‘Cause we are tough as shit.
Once I got strep throat while I was home from college for my grandpa’s 90th birthday party and instead of taking the time to bring me to the doctor, my mom asked her brother to vet to bring me some penacillian and I took meds with dogs and horses on the bottle for a week. She swore they were the same pills. I waited to start barking.
My cousin Nellie fell on my mom’s front porch one winter bringing in groceries. She called my mom to tell her she thought she broke something and my mom laughed and told her to put some ice on it. Her ankle was in fact broken and in a cast for weeks. The neighbor took her to the hospital.
That is the lovely woman that raised me. She taught me morals and values and to feel guilty as hell if I had to call in sick. I called in this winter and was so racked with guilt and in fear that my boss would thinking I was faking it, I walked 2 miles to the Minute Clinic to get tested for strep throat. When I called my mom around 3pm to tell her that my test was negative but I still felt like hell she asked, “well, are you going to go to work now since it is negative?” The woman is crazy.
Which is why every time I am sick, I am convinced I am faking it or other people will think I am faking it. I left work an hour early yesterday after the room had started to fade in and out, I had taking a nap on a traveling VP’s couch and Advil wasn’t working. By 5PM I was tucked in with my PJs on. I woke up at 11PM to eat some crackers and drink some water and was fast asleep within 20 minutes. I woke up at 9AM this morning and didn’t get out of bed until noon.
Most of the symptoms have subsided- I supposed 16 hours of sleep will do that. I managed to control my guilt by about 3pm, read 253 pages in my book, gotten my laptop remotely debugged by the Geek Squad and am off to bed at 9PM. Overall, I just need to go to work tomorrow. I am so bored. And there is a party.
None of this makes sense. Good night.