Stupid [OK] Cupid


Each and every morning, I decide to delete my Ok Cupid account.  And then each and every morning I find a cute boys profile and think oh- I’ll just send one more message!  Maybe this guy is the perfect one for me!  I compose a witty and relevant e-mail, hit send and then a couple hours later notice that while the cute boy has looked at my profile, he choose not to respond.  Then I call the cute boy mean names in my head because he hurt my feelings. 

The worst part of it all is that I do the same thing to people by not responding to messages I’ve receive for a variety of stereotypical and judgmental reasons.  That is the beauty and the curse of online dating.  I can automatically dismiss people that have qualities I cannot get down with— too short, live in stupid places, write things in their profile about their “passions”, don’t eat meat (we could never eat together, ever), etc., but in turn cute boys do the same thing to me. 


I have a height thing, I’ll admit it.  I have a hard time dating guys that are not 6 foot something.  My very tall female co-workers get pissed I am dating in their height related dating pool, but I don’t want to be able to look my date in the eye.  I want to stand on my tip toes.

I don’t like my men skinny.  I would like them to be able to pick me up if I fall down, or am drunk, or hurt myself.  I’d rather not date a Republican, or someone who is religious.  Not that I have anything against either of those things, but I voted for Obama and Sundays are for hangovers and brunch and gettin’ busy.  I’d like them to love their mommas and have a full head of hair and find me to be adorable.  I really don’t think I’m asking that much! 

I’m going to officially quit OK Cupid on Monday and try to start meeting cute boys the usual way (wasted at bar close).  So, if anyone knows any tall boys who live within the District boundaries and enjoy a good challenge, please let me know.  I’ll be awaiting their call.


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