FIRST AND FOREMOST
Due to some very unfortunate karaoke pictures, I will not be wearing my baggy boyfriend jeans after 5pm on the weekends anymore. Seriously, if you see me wearing them at the bar, please send me home to change. And I know what you are thinking, Louisa, I know*.
Kickball starts tomorrow and I’m not actually sure Nat actually knows how to play. Being that playing kickball is a ploy to accomplish many things (in no particular order— cute boys, having an excuse to drink on a school night, attempting to kick balls at tourists, but mostly cute boys), I went in search of attractive work out clothes Monday night after work. Which was hard.
I am not one of those attractive exercisers. My hair gets all frizzy and my face turns very red and I sweat. I do not look cute in shorts and any sort of t-shirt and I think running shoes look stupid on everyone**. I swear I also spend 70% of my work out adjusting my clothes— sports bras are not comfortable, nor is the uni-boob thing hot.
In a perfect world, my baggy rugby sweatpants (they have pockets!) would be sexy but our world is not perfect. As far as shorts go, I prefer them to be of the male basketball persuasion, but was told that wasn’t going to do it for me either. I didn’t want pants but I didn’t necessarily want shorts either (this weather is being stupid). After much kickball-wardrobe deliberation, I settled on some sort of yoga style capri pants. And let me tell you, it is amazing how fat your ass can look in those things.
After many trips to the dressing room, I finally found a pair that were a nice balance between skin tight and baggy rugby sweatpants. They showed off my ass without making me uncomfortable and were actually made for my gender. I walked out triumphant and then remembered, our team t-shirt was bright orange. Traffic cone coming at ya.
I just can’t win these days.
*She is thinking FINALLY!
**ESPECIALLY those women who commute in their fancy skirt suits, nylons and running shoes. You people look the most stupid.