Family bonding with 5 cousins, 1 aunt, 1 Jewish grandmother, 3 kids and 3 dogs in one household this weekend was quite lovely and quite exhausting. That many people in one household in the pouring rain = organized chaos.
My cousin Nicole and I spent the majority of the weekend discussing how we should eat better and work out more and lose weight in order to look decent in bathing suits (she birthed a kid— she’s got an excuse) and then promptly whipped up a batch of cupcakes, or ran to Dunkin Donuts, or made some popcorn. We literally stared at the leftover Poppa Johns and complimentary garlic butter sauce Saturday afternoon for 5 whole minutes assessing our will power and then went for it. So much for self-control.
Not that my cousins aren’t great in their own right, but their kids are pretty much the coolest kids on earth. Hanging out with I’ll-be-five-years-old-in-May-what-are-you-going-to-get-me-for-my-birthday Ally is like an all day self-esteem boost. We spent the majority of our time together sitting on the couch congratulating each other on being so fucking cool.
See? Ally is a total bad ass. She was a punk rocker for Halloween.
The yelling kids and barking dogs stressed Gram out— mostly because she couldn’t hear her programs*. I like to remind her when she finds us to be annoying that technically speaking it is all her fault. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be on this earth, so she should take some responsibility and calm down. There are times in which I am convinced that my grandma was the original pill that was tough to swallow. Every day is opposite day. You’re so ugly = I think you’re beautiful. You’re so stupid = I’ve got one smart grandkid. Now you get it. But more on that tomorrow.
I am incredibly sunburn, sunglasses tan line and all. T-5 days until my father arrives in the District of Columbia (conveniently when I’ll be in Hot-lanta** for Easter) and that’s all she wrote.
*Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, respectively.
**According to Jo everyone in Atlanta hates that, but I don’t care.