The bastards hurt my feelings

I was trying to figure out this afternoon if I had any more rational actions in regards to the last job I interviewed for.  We’ve surpassed the notification deadline and I’ve sent two kindly worded e-mails asking whether the position has been filled or the expected time line has changed (the first was sincere, the second to make them feel awkward).  I know that isn’t a good sign, but at the end of the day, I’d just rather know for sure.  Anything at this point would suffice— an e-mail, a phone call, a letter, carrier pigeon, smoke signals.  I just want some sort of acknowledgment that they went with another candidate.  And after two interviews and being one of the two final candidates, I think it is the professional, and fair, thing to do.  Just put me out of my misery already.

For many large companies, I understand that with many candidates and the potential of a clusterfuck HR department, these things can be overlooked for a variety of reasons.  But in an office with six people, they are aware that there is still no executive assistant next to the CEO’s office, or that there is.  Or that I’ve been notified, or that I haven’t. 

I’m considering my options for both revenge and a final word— egg their office, prank call and ask to speak the executive assistant, do the rational thing and cut my losses.  Despite knowing the rational thing is the right thing, there is still that 5% of me that thinks maybe, just maybe, something drastic happened (massive flood, their phone lines are down, the entire office got swine flu) and they just haven’t made their decision yet. 

I guess most of all I’m bummed— we had a good feeling about this one.  Now I’m back to square one.  And square one is such a bitch.  I so firmly believe in silver lining that these situations are hard for me.  Yes, I believe that an excellent job will come my way, and know that I have to really work hard for it— and I do.  But I’ve been so firmly implanted in this place these past months that it has become hard to keep a positive attitude.  It’s easier to wallow in my disappointment.  And for me, disappointment is the worst feeling out of the all the feelings.  I know something’s got to give.  It always does.  But when?  I’m getting really tired of trying.  And waiting.

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