Note: I actually wrote this yesterday afternoon, but halfway through editing was the boss said “get the hell out of here before someone asks you to do something” and so I did. Happy Friday.
I am too tired to put together a fully coherent post, but I have many things I’d like to tell you.
First and foremost: Minnesota is the most hipster state in the U.S. and the gayest according to what I learned watching the Daily Show. Word.
Secondly, THE BOARD MEETING IS OVER. We were completely slap happy this morning both due to lack of sleep and the pleasure of the final glad-that-shit-is-over-with exhale. Literally giggling like little children both because we’re sometimes idiots and this for the majority of the morning. Everyone once in a while we’d Tweet something and then demand everyone read and respect the Tweet. Then we’d giggle because I once called it Tweeder. The giggling fits would only stop so we could stare longingly at the couches in the hotel lobby.
Board meetings are a whole lot of “hurry up and wait” for those of us behind the scenes. We need to rush rush rush and then literally stand still for three hours doing nothing. Everyone once in a while you are forced to snap into quick action— which sometimes leaves me a bit frazzled. In a moment of confusion during our reception last night while maning the name tag table, I mistook the “Congressional Comedian” for an actual member of Congress. He had minions and had a red circular pin on his lapel. I was horribly embarrassed and he was so wonderfully flattered, I was promised lunch in the Senate Dining Room— his treat. Like I said, I was quite tired.
There is protocol to remember during board meetings. Here is what I’ve learned:
-Do not drink red wine if you’re wearing a white shirt.
-Three drinks will get you drunk under the circumstances (the circumstances being stress and lack of sleep).
-Demanding the VP that professionally and educationally you have nothing in common with to be your mentor is both funny and awkward. He can’t be your mentor. He’s an engineer. And you can barely do long division. But he is an excellent person to discuss your feelings with.
-Coffee is not a beverage, but more so a method of survival and the key to your happiness.
-You’ll only ever forget the CEO’s wife’s name tag once.
-Web MDing your supervisor’s potential brain tumor is entertaining for at least 45 minutes. Calling your mother (who was once a nurse) to confirm you suspicions another 20.
-Stacking metal table tents makes the worst noise in the history of noises.
-Always have something to look forward to at the end of the meeting— over eating french fries, the best nap ever, nookie.
-And most importantly, it always ends. If you remember that, you’ll be able to tough it out.
So happy that shit is over. We shall return on Monday morning with the tale of a runaway turtle and how Girls Night 2.00— the Tequila Addition panned out.