Weekend Round-Up

FRIDAY

I spent $160 at the grocery store and did laundry like a boss.  Everyone should wish they were as awesome and popular as I am.  I think I might have even gone to bed at 10:30PM.

SATURDAY

My dearest cousin Josephina rolled into DC Saturday morning from Hot-lanta after being in a car, 2 airplanes, a bus, a metro and a taxi.  It’s in the cousin code:  one is not required to go an hour + out of one’s way to pick up another cousin at the airport.  Ain’t my fault she flew into BWI.

Due to the Metro being a cluster fuck of epic proportions during holiday weekends, I made my very uncoordinated cousin bike to Chinatown.  She was not pleased, both by the fact that it was hot outside and apparently I am not very good at directing people.  “Go left!” I’d yell and then stop short.  Or change my mind and go right.  Or run a yellow light.  Halfway down K Street we just started  yelling at each other.

“You’re just like your mother!’
“No, you are!”

We’re very mature like that.

Saturday night we grilled chicken and asparagus and ate a grip of tortellini.  Josephine, despite enjoying asparagus, makes a conscious decision to abstain from consuming it due to the fact that it makes your pee smell strange.  Between the asparagus and my new vitamins (Grown-up as hell!  I take vitamins!) that makes me pee neon yellow– going to the bathroom was moderately shocking.  Sorry, I know that was an over-share.

SPARKS, WE ARE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE

Sunday morning Josephine and I were reading the paper and preparing to watch some movies when my friend from college, Sparks, called to tell me that she was not only in DC, but near my house.  She was captain of the rugby team when I was president and my wing man for all things rugby related.  We spent the entire fall quarter of our senior year shoving our faces with cupcakes trying to make rhyme or reason of our rugby responsibilities– usually while the little boy I nannied for was talking shit to other 2 year olds on the playground.

Josephine and I met Sparks in Eastern Market shortly after her call, made a bee-line for the bar and started bonding.  Being that we hadn’t seen each other in almost 2 years– the casual afternoon bloody marys very quickly switched to Coors Light in rapid succession and Irish Car Bombs.  About 4 hours and a $125 bar tab later, the three of us walked out entirely too drunk for 5PM.  Sparks and I were faced with the stark realization that we are not in college anymore.  We were rugby players.  Day drinking was something we once excelled at.  No longer.

After we stuck Sparks in a cab, Josephine and I walked to T Bone’s for pulled pork sandwiches, took a brief nap on her living room floor and then watched about 4 hours of Jerseylicious.  And I am not ashamed one bit.  Jerseylicous is amazing.  If only I could figure out how to convince the frat boys it was better than baseball, I’d watch it 24/7.

MONDAY

Yesterday was boring in comparison.  T Bone and I saw a weird movie, ate an entire large popcorn with extra butter, did some shopping, worked out.  I think I’ll be avoiding day drinking for the near future.  I guess despite my best intentions, I am getting old– which is stupid.

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