It took me until about 3PM yesterday to realize that DC Blogs had linked to my post about my very awkward run-in with a girl who’d seen my vagina at a party– I largely assumed all morning as I watched the stat counter rise that mother was just clicking reload 70+ times. Thank you, DC Blogs. In retrospect, I should have tried a little harder to think of something more witty than how I am good at herding drunk people to post yesterday with all those new readers, but oh well. My mother was very pleased to learn that the post was not actually people having to take care of her very drunk daughter, but her [moderately drunk] daughter taking care of very drunk others. So there is that.
My mother and I talk often. I may be grown-up as hell (sometimes) but I still call her with any and all questions about my life as often as I can such as: Where do you think I left my house keys? How do we feel about bangs? What do I do if my garbage disposal smells funky? Etc.
Being that she used to be a nurse, she is also my go-to for all medical related questions. She is a master of online medical research and used to do this shit for a living, therefore I 100% support her diagnoses. When we were kids, she also served as our unofficial primary care doctor– often medicating us herself and taking out our stitches in the dining room. Being that I’ve had about a weeks worth of headaches, I called my mother yesterday–Me: Hi, mom. Mom: How are you, dear? Me: I called to talk to you about my brain tumor. Mom: Rachel Shea, no more Web MD!!! Me: But I have a headache! Mom: Take an Advil! Me: I have been taking Advil! If I take anymore, I’m going to get an ulcer!
Turns out I probably just have a sinus infection. Realizing that I was going to get no support for my brain tumor from my mother, I tried other outlets.Friend: You know how there is antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea? I think this is antihistamine-resistant pollen. My allergies are killing me. Me: Um…? Friend: I’m serious! It’s in Japan. It is going to circle the globe in 20 years. Me: Well, I have a brain tumor. Friend #2: What the hell is wrong with you two?
A lot, Friend #2, a lot.
On a scale of working’ hard to hardly workin’ I’ve actually got a fair amount to do today, so that is all. I’m having dinner tonight with my cousin’s girlfriend who is in town for a conference. She was witness to many of my drunken college antics and I’m sure she’ll love reminding me of many things I’ve chosen to forget. I’ll think strongly about sharing those stories with you tomorrow.
If you’re new here, welcome! Like me on Facebook (I currently only have 12 friends and that is sad) or follow me on Twitter @dointhegrownup and have a most excellent day.