Like for real, this is shit.
1. K and I had our first date 3 months ago today [I’ll give you all a moment to simultaneously like go awww and fake vomit]. The only reason I know that is because our first date was on 4/20. Stoners will always be able to associate with my relationship. Word.
2. My life these days has been incredibly busy, so when the opportunity presented itself last night to sit around, eat an entire pizza and watch “Sons of Anarchy”, I did just that. I don’t think K appreciated how much I talked about the pure sexiness that is the character Jax, but I assume he’ll live. K should probably pray that Jax never rolls up next to me on his Harley and says something along the lines of– Would you like to go have hot outlaw sex with me? — because then I’d be like K who?
3. BFF4EVA would also like to state for the official record that me putting my hair up and down and up and down on my first date with K was in no way indicative of whether or not I liked him, because I do that all the fucking time. It was also brought to my attention that when I am in the process of putting my hair up, I tend to check out my armpit. Please don’t ask me why, people, as I do not have a single clue.
4. Speaking of armpits! I am usually a dress-before-deodorize type of girl but switched up the order this morning. As a result, I had deodorant pretty much from the top of my newly dry cleaned dress to the bottom. Which was awesome to find out after I strolled into the office.
5. And speaking of BFF4EVA– she sent me this photo on Tuesday night of a messed up lemon:
I actually thought this lemon looked pretty gross and made comparisons to a slimy piece of chicken. That observation brought on a series of text messages which I won’t bore you with here, but led us to rework the time honored quote, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” to “when Satan gives you slimy chicken lemons, make a cocktail”. I’m not sure it made sense to us either at the time.