I spent the majority of my weekend in full blown wedding-ness. Between Cristi and John’s wedding, as well as shacking up with my newly engaged friends Gigi and Alex on Friday and Saturday night, I couldn’t help thinking about whether or not I’d ever saunter down that aisle myself. For most people, the idea of one day growing up and getting married and moving to the suburbs and having kids seems like a given– but I never naturally assumed that would be my path.
My associations with marriage are largely attached to divorce– my dad moved out 2 days before I started the 3rd grade and I honestly think that splitting up was one of the nicest things my parents did for us kids. Divorce aside, marriage ultimately seems like the very most grown-up decision a person can make.* You are willingly attaching yourself to another human being for the rest of your life. I’d put my money on both Cristi and John and Gigi and Alex growing old and disgusting together but it is going to take me a while to warm up to the idea.
The wedding part I’m totally cool with. I love an excuse to have a rockin’ party. When my mom organized and financed a 200+ family reunion with 2 meals, beer, a bouncy thing for the kid and a polka band for under 6K at her cousin’s funeral home a couple years ago– she announced my wedding would be at the funeral home as well. Because if you deducted one meal and the bouncy thing, exchanged the polka band for a DJ and added the cost of a wedding dress and cake, she could get me hitched for cheap.
And I agreed to it. Honestly, how amusing will it be to send out wedding invitations with:
Please join us for the union of our daughter Rachel Shea Baby and [the poor dude she conned into marrying her] at the [insert family name here] funeral home.
I’ve also decided that I’d like a pig roast. So it’s official– one of the pre-requisites for asking my hand in marriage besides love and compassion and all that other stuff is to be able to get behind a pig roast wedding at a funeral home. And it’s going to be awesome.
*No– it’s not babies. That can happen by accident. No one can get married by accident until you are incredibly drunk in Vegas and in that case, serves you right.