My cousin’s 2 year old Josie has what has been dubbed “the look”. The little one lowers her face, squints her eyes and purses her lips giving the victim a world famous glare. I’m starting to think that having Josie around would make my life more efficient. Instead of using my words to express my distaste in an individual, I will just direct Josie to give them “the look”.
Josie, that unattractive man is hitting on me. Give him the look!
Josie, my boss wants me to do something stupid. Give him the look!
Josie, my roommates left all their dishes in the sink. Give them the look!
I really think it would be effective. Like my own personal weapon of glaring destruction. Missy, please send me your child.
K pulled a bag of salami out of the fridge last night and said in a mocking tone, “Rachel, you only have 3 slices of salami left. What are you going to do?” And then ate them.
“Oh, honey,” I said, “don’t be silly.” And pulled a brand new bag out of the fridge.
TYPED BY BABY CARSON
I think he’s saying hello. It is take your 1 year old to work day.
AND NOW I WILL LOSE MY SHIT
Today is Brynn’s last day at the office and I have resisted the urge to cry while rocking back and forth while she holds me and/or form tackle her and demand she stays all week. I did step on her foot twice– both time wearing high heels– as a sign of my love and affection. It was purely accidental. I swear.
Brynn, we wish you the very best and hate your guts for leaving. Who is going to listen to me talk about my feelings? And hold me back when I try to beat the copy machine? And find all the documents I can never find myself– even though you’ve found them for me 100 times before? Be prepared to field my hysterical phone calls as I attempt to do your job. I’ll miss you.