I am going to straight up copy-cat Hilarity in Shoes and I’m not even sorry.
Ten Things on Thursday:
1. My co-worker just e-mailed me from the conference room. She is in a very fancy meeting with Chinese delegates and other fancy people. In the mists of this meeting she wanted to know– what is a zygote? Strange question all around.
2. The mother fucking mice are back! I’m totally comfortable sharing my living quarters with mice– as long as they do not go in my room, nor shit on my counter tops or stove. If they learned some damn manners, I would quit trying to kill them. But since they are inconsiderate assholes, the exterminator must be called once again.
3. Last week I insisted someone in my office make me business cards that said– Rachel, Main Bitch. This week I would like a new set that read– Rachel, Conference Call Miracle Worker. I am just movin’ and shakin’ those CEOs right on to the phone at the same time. I knew I’d get far in life.
4. The last executive assistant in my office used to describe herself as a professional hand-holder. I prefer wrangler– like wild wild west style. My boss is like a greased pig. That is the only way I can think of to describe him. Hard to catch and always changing directions. Both I’d like to kill, only one I’d like to eat.
5. I look awesome in my new dress today. Gap’s website doesn’t have a picture of it or else I would show you how cute it is. Just envision my general attractiveness for a couple minutes and you’ll get the idea.
6. 21 people now like me on Facebook! Good going, kids. Lauren, I prefer chocolate cupcakes. Thanks.
7. My friend Liza is going to a country that I cannot locate on a map. Her blog is here to learn more about it. She was telling me all about her adventures over porch beers the other day and mentioned she was now the proud owner of special anti-leech socks. A small part of me died when she said that.
8. I went to pilates last night and it felt great. Then I came home and drank Bud Light and watched Steel Magnolias and cried. Typical Wednesday.
9. I just ate a grip of Chinese food. It was delicious but I am fairly certain I can feel the MSG seeping out of my pores. I know that was gross. I’m sorry.
10. We watched this the other day at work. We knew all the words. I bet you do too.