Because it is damn close to my bedtime. And I had a crap day.
1. Roommate B is eating a steak that cost $2. That is 8 quarters he paid for a piece of meat. He swears he cooked it perfectly, but it literally tastes like cow. It’s not delicious.
2. Roommate A modeling his Halloween costume (see below). Yup, you’re seeing correctly. That’s a penis. They tried to talk me into wearing it along the lines of– if you live in a house full of boys long enough, you’ll grow one of your own– but I’ve got my heart set on being Pippi Longstocking for the 80th year in a row.
3. So I will have my hair in pigtails and wearing mismatched socks. Other girls will be dress liked this. I think my favorite is the “sexy perfect soft-boiled egg”.
4. I finally caved and put on tights this morning. I’ve accepted the coats and the layers and the scarves, but tights are a whole new level of winter acceptance. Gentleman, I’m sure you don’t understand, but wearing tights feels like your insides are being squished together. I once tried purchasing the largest size of tights in the store to minimize inside squishing, but turns out that size is just made for woman with legs that are 7 feet long.
5. Ok, maybe I really only had 4. But we’ve got a fine lookin’ single man to pimp out tomorrow. And tomorrow is Friday. So we’ve got that going for us.