Remember when you used to blog and shit? Yeah, I faintly recall. I’ve been trying to dig out after the Thanksgiving holiday and recover from all the family bonding and tryptophan. I’ve also been listening to Florence + The Machine on repeat, which I thought you’d be interested to know.
FIRST AND FOREMOST
I’d like to issue a formal apology to Bree. I must retract ALL of the sarcasm behind this sentence: I’m happy to report that we’re now the proud owners of $80 worth of organic, freedom-tasting, free-range turkey that was hand-fed grains, did yoga twice a day and was slaughtered with love.
Because let me tell you, homie, that organic hippie turkey was melt-in-your-mouth delicious. Like I’ll-not-complain-about-grocery-shopping-at-Whole-Foods-next-year delicious. All of my hats off to our Thanksgiving chef. Don’t you worry, Bree, we’ll be back next year. And I’d also like to mention– whoever made the brussel sprouts did a FABULOUS job.
FAMILY BONDING – GET INTO IT!
My brothers came, they saw, they ate everything in my fridge and they departed. It’s comforting to know that nothing ever changes with those two boys. They sleep until noon, they touch all of your shit, attempt to steal some of your shit and then smile and nuzzle their head adorably against your shoulder until they get what they want (money, a snack, beer).
Little Timmy Tat will be graduating college in March and I’m very proud of him. Knowing Tim’s luck, he’ll be offered a job the day he graduates making 60K a year with health care benefits and an office with a door that shuts and his pick of purebred puppy without spending one agonizing minute staring at job listings contemplating stripping or selling his eggs.
And as for19 year old Jack- the words “med school” came out of his mouth this weekend without a hint of sarcasm or irony. Tim and I both hung our heads in shame. Kudos, Jack, for being the smartest child. We really appreciate you choosing a career that comes with the perk of a prescription pad. Thanks, pal.
Louisa is turning 25 this weekend and I correctly thought the pleasure of my company for 4 days would be the perfect gift. And someone needs to pour the whiskey during the initial moments of her quarter life crisis. Lou and her lovely boyfriend Nate have recently started living in sin and I’ll be their first official house guest.
Nate is my favorite of all the boyfriends because he’s already acknowledged and accepted the fact that even though he and Louisa are shacked up, the odds of him being kicked out of his own bed and sent to the guest room for the weekend are pretty good. Because there is nothing Lou and I like more then drinking wine out of the bottle in bed after a long, hard night at the bar. Don’t judge us– we’re still young.