I had to actually work yesterday. It happens sometimes. I can’t help it. All the work I had to do briefly disrupted my week long G Chat with Danny Mac about all of our feelings. I haven’t even talked to my mother as much as I’ve talked to Danny Mac this week and I talk to my mother a lot– so this post is mostly about him. But without further ado, 10 on Thursday – Friday Edition!
1. Yesterday was Andy B’s birthday. He may not be wiser, but he definitely was looking fine in his new suit. Happy belated birthday Andy B! I’m not even hungover after your birthday celebration, which is nice.
2. All of the Doin’ the Grown-Up bachelors were getting down last night in Chinatown. And by all I mean two. But aren’t they adorable?
3. We’ll have a new Bachelor of the Week next Friday– my roommate, Andy P. As I learned last night, Andy P makes pretty awesome green bean casserole, which was a huge win when we got home from the bar last night. For a South Carolina boy, his casserole did a Minnesotan proud.
4. I was making fun of Danny Mac (yet again) for living so far away from civilization a couple days ago and he felt the need to list off the finer qualities of his home. I was patiently waiting for him to finish so I could continue my mocking when he said something that changed every! I could give a shit about his koi pond (the grossest fish in the universe) or his shed, but he has a TREE HOUSE. I am so jealous.
5. I never had a tree house growing up, which is like grievance 232,938 I have against my mother. You ruined my childhood by never building me a tree house, mom! The tree house is the sole reason I’ve agreed to leave the safety of the District to pay Danny Mac a visit in bum fuck Egypt.
I was disappointed to hear that the tree house isn’t actually large enough to camp out in, but I do plan on sitting in the tree house and drinking beer and smoking contraband cigarettes and PRAYING my mother doesn’t find out I snuck out of the house and am hanging out with boys unsupervised.
6. Grievance 232,939: She never let me go to midnight movies in high school, but TOOK my brothers to a midnight movie when they were in middle school. On a school night! Which is such bullshit.
7. Danny Mac is depressed he only had one birthday party as a child, so we’ll be remedying that on January 9th with a hired petting zoo and a clown. Party hats will be mandatory.
8. Having written that, I did some research and you can rent ponies in the DC/Maryland area for $175 an hour. If you need more hours or more ponies, it is an additional $100 per pony per hour. I think that is perfectly reasonable because, Danny, “riding a pony makes a small child feel TALL and a timid child BRAVE”. I’ll even chip in the extra hundred for some bunnies.
9. Did you know you shop for a turkey with a tape measure? I had no idea. That’s probably why I’m not in charge of anything Thanksgiving related except bringing the booze. Otherwise, I’d be all like turkey meatloaf for everyone! (Because that’s all I can cook.)
10. Also, Danny loves the Fray.
Have a good weekend, y’all. Check you right back here bright and early Monday morning.