1. T – 1 day before I have to put on the big girl heels and my freshly dry cleaned cocktail dress and run around town acting like a grown-up. Every time I put on a suit or roll up to a formal event I can’t help thinking that I’m not old enough for this shit.
2. Tis the season for candy! This time of year holiday gifts from other companies we work with are shipped by the dozens. I think I’ve been living on fudge for days. It’s a wonder my pants still fit.
3. My mom, brothers and I went to New Orleans last year over Christmas for a family vacation (and this happened). The first night we were in town, my brothers ditched us for Bourbon Street and my mom and I met up with Bree– who was also in town with her family.
As we walked into the second jazz club of the night, my mother was pulled onto the dance floor by someone my age who freak danced her in a way that only an intoxicated 20-something with an appreciation for a momma as awesome as my own could. Bree ran to the bathroom, “Rachel! I lost your mom! I think she is grinding on the dance floor with a 25 year old.”
I was telling this story last week to our new staff assistant during a conversation about New Orleans. The VP I report to walked in at the exact moment I said “grinding”. Good lord, why couldn’t I of said dancing?
4. Our office is going to volunteer today to get in the Christmas spirit. Whatever it is we are doing has now been streamlined to “cutting onions”. I couldn’t tell you where we are going, or which charity we are supporting, just that we all assume onions and knives will be involved. Keep you posted.
5. Because of our charitable afternoon, we were all instructed to roll into the office in jeans today. Dressing casually for the office is much more difficult than wearing professional clothes. Because for me casual (Louisa, you should probably skip this part) usually means my boyfriend jeans with a couple of holes in them and a t-shirt or sweater depending on the season.
Knowing that wouldn’t have gone over well, I wrestled into my skinny jeans (as expected, my butt looks fine as hell), shirt and cowboy boots for good measure. I think I look presentable, but that is mostly because there are no visible holes in my clothing– although my shirt is definitely not ironed. And I’m not sorry. And that right there is why a casual office would stress me the fuck out.
6. My cousin Max graduated college yesterday!!! I want to say we never thought it’d happen but I’m not going to because I’m so damn proud. Look at that fine bachelor of arts havin’ young man.
7. Unintentionally inappropriate test answers from kids still cracks me up every time. This is my favorite:
8. I know Texts From Last Night is so two years ago but I’ve been kind of bored lately. I want to be friends with this human:
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said “now bow your heads in prayer” as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
9. Someone please buy me this. I think it would really improve my dating life.
10. I spent some quality time with VH1’s 100 Best Hip Hop Songs of All Time this week– therefore our song of the week is another oldie but goodie.