I was working! I’m sorry!
The boss man had 12 performance reviews, 2 outside meetings, a conference call and lunch to attend to Friday. I had him scheduled literally from one minute to the next. I wasn’t sure when we were going to pencil in bathroom breaks. This was for the whole enchilada. Shit was going to get real.
I had prepped the rest of the staff the entire week with specific instructions– long winded people were told to be brief, tardy people were instructed to be on time, this-is-never-going-to-happen haters to step off. I was in charge. I was the boss of the office. I was going to make shit happen.
And then first meeting didn’t even start on time. I spent about 5 minutes really caring about my already fucked scheduled, poured myself another cup of coffee and opted for the win some – lose some attitude towards the day. I’m happy to report that even though the meetings went off with many many hitches, they all got done. And only 3 hours behind schedule.
While I contemplated losing my shit more times* then I’d like to admit, Bree patted me on the head throughout the day and rewarded my good behavior with a espresso vodka spiked latte at 5:30PM. I had my review (and got a raise!), got dressed in my office (having time to run home before the black tie dinner – HA), put on some lipstick and got my 7th wind.
And I’ll remind you, we looked good. Just as wearing a suit makes me feel like I’m playing dress up in my mother’s clothes, black tie affairs make me want to yell at the room full of grown-ups wearing tuxedos and ball gowns – TRICKED YOU! I still eat Ramen noodles for dinner and call my mother “mommy” in public. I’m not an adult!
Instead I smile, network, shake hands and make every effort to think before I speak– that is until I decide it’s a good idea to tell my CEO’s wife she’s a babe. But I’m fairly certain she appreciated that overstep.
One of my oldest friends Kagan showed up in DC Saturday afternoon. We’ve known each other since the 1st grade, or as we like to describe to people after many cocktails– we’ve known each other since we were both very ugly**.
Once we started drinking, Kagan and Roommate B feel into a magical bromance and spent the rest of the evening starting sentences with ” I know we’ve only known each other for 5 hours but…”. It was adorable.
I ate the best omelet of all time– mashed potatoes, bacon, cheddar cheese and sour cream. Go to Tunnicliff’s in Eastern Market IMMEDIATELY if you have never eaten the breakfast food straight from the heavens.
*I had been wide awake staring at the ceiling since 2AM.
**He had a rat tail. I had very short hair that often got me mistaken for a boy– I wouldn’t let anyone brush it so they chopped it off.