1. See?! I told you I’d try harder. Not much hard, but a little bit harder. A post 2 days in a row! Excuse me for a second while I pat myself on the back and turn up the Biz Markie.
2. The Boss Man gifted me a grip of cacti for Christmas. I use the term gift loosely because it turns out what actually happened is his wife, Mrs. Boss Man, told him to get them out of the house and there is literally not a single open surface in his office for an additional plant.
“And,” he said, “I’m pretty sure even you can’t kill a cactus.” I stiffed the urge to yell– sounds like a challenge, sir!– and instead pinky promised to water them once a month.
2. Tim’s dog Mila, an entire 13 pounds, tried to take on my aunt’s gigantic great dane when we were at her house for Christmas. We’ve come to the following conclusion about the little pup that slept under the covers and could sneak herself under the fence and out into the world like lightning– she’s bright, just not very sharp.
3. I got this G Chat yesterday. I won’t tell you who sent it, but feel free to make fun:oh god I just started crying at work because I watched this video about these elephants that were friends and then one was in a like shitty zoo thing and then they got reunited omg
4. Thanks to Dan Savage– I 100% cannot take Santorum seriously. I can’t take his sweater vest seriously either. And if you’ve never googled Santorum you probably need too– although I don’t recommend doing it at work.
5. If you’re going to ask me if I made any New Years Resolutions, the answer is no, because everyone and their mother knows that no one follows that shit. I simply resolve to do better than I did last year– to work harder, play harder and have an adventure or two along the way.
6. And I resolve to get to the gym earlier than those trying to lose ten pounds. Because they are the worst.
7. I finally figured out how to remove Spotify from my Facebook. To celebrate, I listened to the same song 8 times in a row because no one can judge me. Because they’ll never know. Ha!
8. Today is my co-worker Joe’s birthday! Happy birthday, Joe! We celebrate birthdays at my office with cupcakes– our new staff assistant is both horrified and impressed I can rattle off the cupcake preference of every person in our office. She hopes to be as pathetic as me one day. The girl can dream.
9. It’s almost Girl Scout Cookie season! And there is a new one! Thank the gods of cookies that I now have a co-worker with a daughter who is a girl scout. There were many years I had to stalk suburban grocery stores on Saturday mornings looking for caramel delites. And now they come to me.
10. Song of the week– my roommate was playing this the other day and I had immediate flashbacks to my friend Bryna poppin’ and lockin’ in my back yard when we were kids.