SKIN SOFTER, SMOOTHER AND MORE BEAUTIFUL
I bought a Clarisonic Mia yesterday, which is the single most high-maintenance purchase I’ve ever made in my life. But as a girl who has had a continual throw down with my skin since puberty hit, money is no object. Most women look longingly at other women’s big breasts or thin frame. I look at other women and think– oh, to have pores that small.
I was sitting around with the frat boys last night when I pulled my new very expensive face washer out of the box and started to read the directions. Hearing the sound of the vibrating brush head they looked at me in confusion and started to make jokes that I was actually reading the directions for a different variety of vibrating accessory that women own.
The jerks. They can make fun all they want. But they’ll be jealous when my skin is radiant and glowing. GLOWING.
HEY BRO, WHAT’S YOUR MAJOR?
There were underage kids at the bar Saturday night—which shall remain nameless in order to save the Georgetown students’ local spot. The frat boys + company and I had been drinking dollar beers mostly uninterrupted since early evening, so I was surprised when the bouncer gave me a paper wristband to designate that I was over 21 around 9PM.
And if on cue, they swarmed– baby faced boys and girls WAY overdressed considering that this particular bar is about as divey as it gets. In the course of five minutes, I had been approached and talked at by a 20 year old that wanted to discuss his future professional baseball career and a 17 year old who asked for repeated confirmation that his yellow button down shirt was “so fresh”.
Let’s be real– I was drinking in the bar at a very young age as well, but I couldn’t believe how young these kids looked. And yes, I’m sure I looked that young once, but damn! I very promptly left said dive bar and made my way to H Street to drink with the grown-ups.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JO!
I was a jerk and forgot Josephina’s birthday. And she in turn had a really crap day. So, my dear girl, I dedicate this very adorable picture to you.