1. I stepped outside the other night to make a phone call and enjoy a double top secret contraband cigarette and as a result, successfully avoided the bludgeoning of rodents in my kitchen. As I’m told: Roommate B opened the pantry door and found mice (as in MORE THAN ONE) straight kicking it. Roommate A came to Roommate B’s rescue (as Roommate B was unarmed) and beat the mice to death with a broom.
The issue was resolved and cleaned up by the time I returned back inside, with the mice resting peacefully in their paper bag grave in the trash, but I still got the heebie-jeebies. Their exact exact size was never fully explained to me, but they were “old enough to bleed.” Gross.
Being that witnessing the killing of multiple mice in my kitchen, where I prepare and eat food, would have sent me into a panic soothed most likely by a Parliament Light and another beer anyways, I’m calling that double top secret contraband cigarette a wash. I dodged a bullet as far as I’m concerned.
2. I’ve started to quiz my co-workers on my GRE vocab words in order to demonstrate how stupid these words are and avoid learning them myself. As of this morning, the VP of Environment is 1 for 2. I have a feeling that this will backfire.
3. I was feeling pretty confident about the GRE math based on a practice quiz I printed off from the internets. Now that I’ve actually cracked open the 100% Official GRE Study Book, shit is looking a little tougher than I thought. I spent most of Wednesday night laying on my office floor with my head on the “medium difficulty” math section contemplating my future. It’s not looking bright, guys.
4. After about 25 minutes of a very vigorous zumba class with Brynn last night, I thought I was straight up going to fall over and die. I didn’t realize how out of shape I actually was (thanks, Christmas) until I was half-heartily shaking my body like an octopus to convince both myself, and the instructor, that I was still both trying and paying attention. I was not.
5. You want to know who won at zumba class last night? The skinny white dude in the front. This guy and his chicken legs and bright white sneakers that squeaked like a mother fucker had sass, style and the routine down cold. I’m not even ashamed to say he made the rest of us ladies look bad with his hip shaking and dramatic facial expressions.
6. I ate Fro-Yo and goldfish crackers for dinner last night. Because I’m a grown-up.
7. There was this moment my second year of college that I still distinctly remember, speaking of ice cream. Louisa and I were sitting around one night in our apartment (and what a lovely shit hole that place was) trying to figure out what to have for dinner. When I settled on a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a beer it occurred to me–HOLY SHIT, I AM AN ADULT. Look what I’m having for dinner! Take that, vegetables!
8. I thought about this last night on the train and dissolved into a fit of giggles. Pure genius. I would like it to be known that over the course of my life, I have had many a polar fleece jacket, including a North Face and most recently, a bright blue one that looks like I skinned a Muppet. Louisa will not be seen in public with me if I’m wearing it. But it’s wind-stopper!
9. This was this seemingly normal looking dude on the metro last night who took every thing out of his Whole Foods bag and inspected it. And then shook it. The flour, the crackers, the half and half. He literally shook half and half from Metro Center to the Hill. Then took off his shoe and inspected it. I stared. I couldn’t help myself.
10. Song of the week– I’m embarrassed about how many times I made Brynn listen to this when we were driving to Manassas and back a couple times a week last summer. And I’m equally ashamed right now.