1. I stood in my living room last night wearing extra large USA basketball shorts that I liberated from a guy friend in high school and one of my college rugby t-shirts. I had just shoveled cheese pizza into my mouth, was drinking whiskey on the rocks out of a red solo cup and swearing like a truck driver.
I had the following 3 thoughts: I understand why people have questioned my sexuality before. At least at this very moment. (Note: I clean up very very nice.)
Secondly, I don’t know if living in the frat house has A.) ruined me or B.) help me find my true inner self. Maybe this version of me was there all along and they just helped my true colors shine. Roommate B first said I’m great just the way I am and then after another wildly inappropriate conversation in which I participated said— maybe you should move out. We’ve ruined you.
And last, it’s really going to take a special special man to want to marry me and love me just the way I am. So there is that.
2. I signed up for Cars2Go yesterday* for the sole purpose of cruising around town in a Smart Car yelling– zoom! zoom! I had a Zip Car Membership for practical things like going to the grocery store for the past year and didn’t use it once. My Cars2Go membership will purely be for joy riding and looking awesome.
3. Those cars look extremely tiny and being that I am an extremely tiny person, I will have no problem fitting behind the wheel. I am, however, curious how tall people will fair in a Smart Car and will be experimenting accordingly. So if you are an incredibly tall human– I’m going to need to see if you fit in my rented ride. Danny Mac, I’m looking at you.
4. Roommate B has already stated his refusal to ever get in a Smart Car ever ever ever. He will not date a woman that drives a Smart Car and would rather walk 80 miles alone than get in one and look stupid. I am going to test this theory by leaving him in Bethesda on a Sunday afternoon when it’s raining. The thought of red line on a Sunday alone should be enough to change his mind, but he’s stubborn as hell.
5. I kept forgetting all week that we had Monday off, which was the best surprise every time it was brought to my attention. I plan on eating a whole ton of hot dogs, drinking a moderate amount of beer and enjoying the hell out of the Memorial Day Parade. Because there is absolutely nothing in this world like a good marching band. Right, Mom?
Hope y’all have a good weekend! Back at it Tuesday at 9AM.