1. Greetings! I hope everyone is having a lovely day. Mine is fairing well to moderately well, which is nice.
2. This is more or less the best thing I’ve ever read: America’s Top 5 Most & Least Fuckable Presidents
To quote: The Honorable Unfuckable President: William Howard Taft. Way to get stuck in a fucking bathtub and have yourself remembered as the fattest president to ever exist.
I saw a model of his bathtub on display at National Archives a couple years ago. It’s GIGANTIC. I had to control every ounce of my being to not get inside the bathtub to see how I fit.
3. Another side note, Taft’s campaign song was “Get on the Raft with Taft”. If that dude was large enough to get stuck in a White House bathtub, you’d most certainly capsize kicking it with him on a raft. I hope no one took that song literally.
4. THANK THE UNIVERSE THAT HEAT WAVE IS OVER. And yes, the caps are entirely necessarily. If you don’t think so, you obviously don’t live on the East Coast or have far better air conditioning than we do at my house. If one more person from Minnesota told me how nice it was at the cabin over the weekend, I was going to burst into tears.
5. I spent most of Sunday afternoon lying in my bed as close the window unit as possible watching episodes of Big Love. I made one trek out of the house for coffee and immediately returned. It was literally too hot to walk 4 blocks.
6. We’ve been watching the documentary Being Elmo over lunch at work and everyone keeps getting all teary-eyed. It’s so sweet. If you haven’t seen it and have any sort of tiny affection whatsoever for the underdog and kids following their dreams and Elmo, you need to watch it immediately. And if you don’t like the movie, you probably have no soul.
6. I biked from Woodley Park to Stadium-Armory Monday night in under 35 minutes. That’s fast like lightning. No one seems to be as impressed with my super fast biking skills as I am, but that’s cool.
7. I purchased a ticket to Chicago the last weekend in July. I am mostly excited that BFF4EVA now works mornings so she won’t try to kill me by keeping me out drinking until 4AM every night. I’m going to be 25 years old. I’m no longer a spring chicken.
8. My trip to Chi-town is going to be coming off 4 days in Wisconsin. Do you know what you do in Wisconsin for 4 days? You eat nothing but cheese curds and meat sticks and drink delicious delicious beer. And that is all you do. It would kind of be the best place ever if I wasn’t from Minnesota. Because since I’m from Minnesota, Wisconsin sucks as a general rule.
9. I saw this guy walking up Capitol Hill last night. I’m not sure if you can really grasp what’s going on here, but he’s wearing a long, fancy coat in 80+ degree weather and a very spiffy hat.
10. In honor of the heat wave, our song of the week: