Monthly Archives: October 2012

Oh, Sandy!

A Street Hurricane preparedness:

There has been a run on supplies in DC.  And everyone in this town have their bathtubs filled with water.  We went to the store last night and bought 4 pounds of meat to make pot roast, chips, beer and wine.  We have collected every candle in the house on the coffee table.  Which is about 3.  So hopefully the power doesn’t go out, or else we’re drinking in the dark.

The pot roast was amazing, by the way, an impressive feat considering Roommate B and I straight up winged it.  Last night we carved pumpkins in the living room.  Mine was a princess pumpkin.  I’m pretty sure a 5 year old could do better.

One of the hinges on the front door has rotted off the frame, so we have to kind of gangster lean the door shut.  That’s fun.  A window in the front room routinely falls right out of the frame as well, so let’s hope it doesn’t get too windy.  Safeway doesn’t sell duct tape and that was our whole strategy.  As my cousin used to say, “if you can’t duct it, fuck it.”

Roommate A is watching Maury.  The topic: I think my boyfriend is washing cars for sex.  I’m watching bootleg episodes of “Homeland.”  This shit is insane.  And makes me wonder, especially living in DC, about all the secrets I don’t know about.

We’ve got power, we’ve got snacks and we’ve got cognac in our coffee.  I’ll be arranging an adventure to the local bar later, assuming the Fed is closed tomorrow, because one can only stay in the house for so long.  Which means we all have to change out of our pajamas.

We’re alive and kickin’ on A Street with Grease songs stuck in our head.  Hoping y’all are doing OK too.

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10 on Thursday

1.  What?  What is this?  A 10 on Thursday?  I’m just as shocked as you are, but I figure I should use this $1200 Mac for something other than streaming Sons of Anarchy episodes.  Maybe.

I’m tired and have dinner plans at 7PM, so it will be slightly half-assed and poorly edited, but I posted!  That counts for something, right?

2.  I know I’ve mentioned this before– I have a so far unsuccessful goal of trying to get incredibly tall men into Smart Cars.  Merely for my own entertainment and to take pictures.  I’m on the second day of negotiations with a friend topping at 6’5″ and he doesn’t seem anywhere near convinced that this is a good plan.

I just want to be amused and to take pictures.  With that said, if you are over 6 feet tall and want to be my first model for a project I’ve titled “Big Fucking Dudes in Tiny Fucking Cars” let me know.  Barrington, I know you love and me will particpate in exchange for Thanksgiving dinner.

3.  Both my parents decided October would be a great time to take a vacation.  My dad is in Nepal for 5 weeks and my mother was jetting around on a houseboat in Lake Powell with all her siblings.  Rough life, guys.

For four whole days last week those vacations overlapped.  Vacations to places that involved no cell phone reception.  What kind of parents are you?  What if your daughter wanted to have the briefest work-related meltdown?  She had no parent to call!  Good thing I’ve got a lot of ringers, yeah?

4.  Due to my father’s grand adventure, I have his 4 tortoises living in a tub in my basement.  These tortoises are proof we’re conditioned as human beings to love whatever is in our care, as I worry that they’re lonely or cold or hungry all day.  And I never gave them much thought before (unless I was on a search and rescue mission).

5.  Of course my father forgot to leave me with worms and due to my deep deep dislike for the red line train, I actually ordered worms on the internet and paid $11 in shipping to avoid going to the Petco in Van Ness.  That’s love.

6.  I had 3 beers for dinner last night and decided it’d be a super great plan to sign up for match.com.  I am still not sure what I was thinking but I blame Pay Pal.  If I would’ve had to get out of bed to walk to my purse to get my credit card, it never would’ve happened.  But type in my e-mail address and password?  Easy!

7.  I’m signed up for a month and have decided to give it 30 days of the old college try.  And I use the term “try” very loosely, because I still refuse to date people that live in Rockville.  Or have cats.  And will still be suspicious of men claiming to be 5’7″ because every knows they’re really 5’5″.

8.  For a variety of different reasons, I’m currently down on a couple people in my life that used to stress me the hell out.  All this stress-free living is amazing.  I’m not grinding my teeth at night.  Grind free sleeping!  It’s a damn miracle. My shoulders are not all up near my ears all day, which got my a high five from my pilates instructor.

I spent a lot of time and energy beings SO STRESSED the last year about work and about job hunting and about this, that and the other thing and now I’m not.  I have much less to talk about.

9.  I’ve almost been in DC for four years, so GO NATS!

10.  Song of the week.  I think I’m finally over my “Call me Maybe” phase, but have moved on to this business.

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Hi friends!

Hi friends, sorry I’ve been so absent.  Turns out I actually have to work at my new job!  Quite hard!  Not that I’m complaining in the least.  I am learning something new every day, challenged until my brain hurts and think I’m going to be very happy there.  But a story to start off your week:

I met a friend for a drink last night on H Street and struck up conversation with a man hovering next to me at the bar.  We discussed what I had for dinner (bone marrow) and my favorite food group (salami) and in great detail the deliciousness of bear.   

I got a lot of high fives, as this drunk gentleman thought that any attractive young lady that loved meat as much as I did was the woman of his dreams.  I believe he proposed marriage in fact.  When he told me he was a chef, I asked where he worked.

“SM,” he said. 

“Oh, SM?”  I asked.  Do you know a man named Bob?

“Yeah, Bob’s a great guy!” he said, slightly slurring his words.  “How do you know Bob?”

“I’m Bob’s daughter.”

“Oh, shit.  I just hit on Bob’s daughter,” he said.

And the conversation concluded.  At least for a little while.  Then he had a couple more drinks and went on and on and on about how it was so unreal that Bob was able to create a woman as good looking as myself.  It blew his drunken mind.  I thanked him and told him I looked just like my mother. 

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