Dudes

There are certain things a lady doesn’t initially realize when deciding it’s a super good plan to live without a single other female– and usually these things are learned the hard way.

Run out of tampons at 11pm on a Sunday night?  Prepare to ransack every purse and backpack you own.  No toilet paper, paper towel or napkins in the entire household?  You will be the only one to care–or notice– for at least 4 days.  This is also usually something you discover at 11pm on a Sunday.  Former Roommate A once told me “just shower,” which traumatized me enough to now keep a secret roll in my bedroom.

But most importantly, what to do in a fashion crisis?  The day before a job interview a couple years ago, I walked downstairs in my navy suit wearing a purple shirt and holding a white shirt.  All three of my roommates at the time were watching TV.  Guys, guys!  I said.  What shirt should I wear tomorrow?  They told me I was blocking the TV.

In recent years, I started seeking text approval from lady friends and family, because clearly the boys aren’t nearly as invested in my outfit as they should be.  Saturday morning I was out to brunch with gentleman caller J$.  Show me some pictures, he said, starting with an adorable adorable photo of the cutest baby around and continuing to flip through my iphone.

After 2 baby photos and some photos of roses at a rose garden, he happened upon a solid 10 pictures of me standing in front of my mirror wearing various dresses.  But how else am I going to find the appropriate outfit for a wedding next weekend?  Text pictures to my girl cousin Jo in Atlanta, clearly.  Which is only embarrassing, it turns out, once you get caught.

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