While waiting for a stop in play to go back to our seats at the Caps game last night–Strange Girl #1 to me: You look like that actress. Me: The one from “Orange is the New Black?” I know. Strange Girl #1: The one from “American Pie.” Me: Yeah, Natasha something-or-other. She always plays slutty girls. Strange Girl #2: Well, you don’t look like a slut. Strange Girl #1: Yeah, no slut vibe. I mean, unless you wanted to give off a slut vibe. I bet you could. Me: Thanks.
While walking past a whole lot of high schoolers last night–Me: Excuse me. High School Student #1: Let this cracker get by! Me: Did you really just call me a cracker? High School Student #2 to #1: That was rude! How would you feel if she called you a [insert incredibly racist word here]? High School Student #3: I’m sorry, he’s drunk. Me: Carry on.