1. I was in Minnesota – specifically at my mom’s cabin in bum fuck USA – for five whole days last week. And guys, it’s amazing how much my shoulders can relax when I’m standing on a dock looking at a gorgeous lake with a beer in my hand and polar fleece on my person and the firm knowledge that my mom is cooking me dinner at that very moment. Because my mom is the best like that.
2. Backstory: So my mother suffers from a crippling fear of missing anything fun ever. She decided it would “probably be best” to fly from Minnesota to Atlanta where I was meeting my aunt and cousin this spring and drive the 4 1/2 hours with us to Nashville for a little mother-daughter bonding trip just in case. Read: What if her flight got canceled because it never ever stopped snowing in Minnesota this winter and we had fun without her?!
So on Friday night we were all sitting around the fire at the cabin on her extremely comfortable outdoor furniture. We had just consumed a delicious dinner, taken a delightful sauna and dip in the lake and were shooting the shit and enjoying a cocktail. And mom falls asleep.
Now if you try to wake her up she just tells you she’s resting her eyes or she’s still listening, so we’ve learned to just let her hang out. Plus she has insomnia like whoa, so she needs her sleep where she can get it. Being the super lovely children that we are, we debated the pros and cons of drawing a penis on her face for a while (OK, we might have had more than one cocktail), but eventually decided against it. Partially because it’s extremely unkind but mostly because we didn’t want to risk her refusing to cook us breakfast in the morning. And mom makes a slammin’ breakfast.
Super sorry, mom.
3. Proof she makes a slammin’ breakfast – one morning she made homemade waffles and turned them into sandwiches with honey ham and dijon mustard. I highly recommend it for your breakfast pleasure.
4. Do y’all know what loons are on the East Coast? If not, this is a loon. Also known as the other Minnesota state bird – besides mosquitoes. They are very cute and have a lovely call that is very calming for us Minnesota kids.
So cousin Josephine, brother Tim and I are all swimming in the lake on Saturday and Tim’s Jack Russell Mila decides she desperately wants to get in the fun while simultaneously being terrified. She buckled to peer pressure (all of us yelling “Mila, come here!”) from various parts of the lake and jumped in.
On the way back she seemed to regret her decision and jumped up on Josephine like a baby loon to hitch a ride. She later tried to do this to me when I was swimming without the use of any flotation device by climbing on my head and we both went under.
5. My mom’s cousin wrote this book – go buy it! Here is the link directly to the Amazon page! I gave it to two of my co-workers for their young daughters and then was like by the way – the main character lives in a funeral home. Hope you don’t think that’s too weird! Bye!
6. I’ve had this song stuck in my head all week.
I’m bored now and need to get back to work. Hope everyone had a nice 4th of July!
Side note – I hit publish by accident before I’d even read the damn thing, but it’s now been at least read over once but still not really proofed.