1. I’m on spring break this week, which I didn’t realize existed until last week. I’ve been utilizing my spring break by staring blankly at the TV or my computer screen thinking really hard about how much homework I have to do before classes resume next week and how stressful that seems. But I’m still probably not going to start the assignments until Sunday night. Because that’s what spring break is for – not being productive. Sadly, my boss did not think that sentiment translated to work as well.
It was suggested that I go to the Chinatown Hooters in my Georgetown t-shirt (the one I got free at registration, the third nicest thing Georgetown has done for me after a free coffee mug and tax rebate), get drunk and flash the bar patrons while yelling “SPRING BREAK D.C. 2015!” at the top of my lungs. That seems unlikely but it a funny sentiment.
2. Former Rep. Michele Bachmann, also roughly known as The Most Embarrassing Person the State of Minnesota has Produced for the National Political Stage is filming a scene for Sharknado Three in D.C. today.
3. I loved this essay – Confessions of a Comma Queen – in the New Yorker.
4. I’ve been dating a gentleman who lives in Clarendon, VA. He was trying to convince me the other night that Clarendon wasn’t really a suburb, that it wasn’t really a terrible place. I didn’t believe him until he claimed a Trader Joe’s around the corner. “Well, why didn’t you say so to begin with,” I said, softening.
I stopped by the Trader Joe’s on Monday night to pick up a bottle of my favorite bottle of cheap vinho verde, which seemed appropriate on one of our first warm days. The line snaked through the store and all the way through the wine section to the cheese case.
When I got to the register I said to the clerk, “Geez, this is like suburban competition grocery shopping. This is serious business.” He laughed as the women charged with keeping the line movin’ yelled “next!” as I finished paying, collected my groceries and was gentle hustled out of the way.
5. I’ve been ordering the occasional Blue Apron box lately because, jesus, I am so sick of everything I cook. The cooking instructions are in paragraph form which takes all of my slightly ADD-riddled brain to understand. I’m a skimmer, I get about 80 percent of the jist and I am horrible at following directions. Everytime I set the smoke alarm off because somewhere buried deep in 150 words of text it says “turn the burner on medium heat” that I don’t notice, I tweet at Blue Apron begging for recipe instruction in bullet point form.
6. I had Natalie over for crispy chicken thighs with kumquat relish and freekah salad after I got one of my first boxes. I have never purchased a kumquat in my life, let alone cooked one, and had never heard of freekah. I inevitably set the smoke alarm off and burned the shit out of the chicken, pulled off the burnt chicken skin, finished cooking the rest of the dish and presented a bowl to Natalie with a solid, “I’m sorry.” And “I’ll order pizza if this is truly horrible.”
Oddly enough, us Midwest meat and potato girls were impressed with the freekah, kumquat and cheese situation. Even with the slightly flavoring of charred chicken skin.
Natalie’s review: This is oddly good. But what’s up with the chicken? Is it organic? Organic chicken sucks. I like my chicken with hormones.
And I agreed.
7. My mother was in town last weekend and it was just wonderful. We ate delicious food and drank delicious wine and both fell asleep on the couch at 11pm on Saturday night watching Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, which is an excellent show and on Netflix.
8. My younger brother Tim moved home recently and every time my mother tells me what she cooked for dinner I get blind with jealousy. Then I remember that if I lived in Minnesota, I’d actually have to go to work when it snowed. And that would be too bad. But seriously, Tim gets homemade carbonara at his leisure? That’s just not fair.
OK, back to work. I just received my third reminder about February timesheets, so I should probably do them before our secretary disowns me.