Category Archives: 10 on Thursday

Some Things on Thursday

Remember me? Me neither. The last couple of months has been a blur of homework, homework, homework and some light stress crying.

I drank three (OK, four) glasses of wine at happy hour a couple of weeks ago with a girlfriend on an empty stomach. When I got home, R inquired about my day and I responded by bursting into hysterical tears. Being the thoughtful boy that he is, he patted my arm and ordered me two pizzas.

Listen up, gentleman, when your lady comes home slightly drunk and starts sobbing, always best to go with two pizzas.

But I’m almost done with grad school! Like ten days almost done. I don’t know who I pissed off this semester, but I am presenting my final senior project in the last time slot on the last day of presentations. (A lot of people, probably.)

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There are often tour groups in our office space and with an open office plan, sometimes you feel like the tour groups are spectators here to watch you in your natural professional habitat.

A group just walked by while I was shoveling whole handfuls of Skinny Pop into my mouth (because how could you not open a bag of Skinny Pop and shove whole handfuls into your mouth?) while bopping to Missy Elliot in the pitch dark. Oh hi!

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Anyone getting married soon? Here are some tips for success. I am Josephine’s maid of honor and suggested we start Facetiming each morning for practice.

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Stolen directly from Facebook:
Scene: Your coworkers hands you a sympathy card because your other coworker’s cat died and you write “Sorry, buddy!” because what else do you write in a sympathy card for a cat?

And then you look at the other notes of condolence and realize the cat’s name was Buddy. And you desperately try to squeeze in the word “about” to seem like less of a jerk.

OK, back to work. Updates on life once my arm tires from fist pumping on May 9th at 8pm.

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10 on Thursday

I feel like I start every post of late asking for forgiveness.  So I should come right out and say it, right?  I suck at this lately.  After spending 8 hours a day deciding between effect/affect (because that– like spelling calendar correctly on the first try– may just be something I never instinctively know) or have a mental debate about whether or not to capitalize “administration” (note: AP Style says no, the bosses say yes), etc. the idea of writing a grocery list seems hard.

But I just paid $26 to keep this little blog alive another year, so at the very least, there’s a tiny bit of hope.  I have no cohesive thoughts today, so it’s a good thing it’s Thursday.  Also please note, I did not attempt to edit this properly.

1.  I was in Colorado Springs last week for our annual General Meeting.  It’s like professional survival of the fittest.  Weeks of prep, lots of tiny tiny details to keep straight (we had two award winners– both named William, with only 1 letter differentiating their last names) and a whole mess of busy work.

Once the meeting actually starts– well, then the ball is in motion.  And that’s a good thing.  As long as you can sustain yourself for 5 days on minimal sleep and buffet trays of bacon, you’re golden.

2.  There are things you should accept about your happiness during a big meeting and it’s that it will be minimal.  That’s not to say that I didn’t have fun and there aren’t pleasurable moments– especially watching what you worked so hard on come together.  But it’s easier to plan for the worst and compensate for everything by eating 12 chocolate croissants over the course of 5 days.  Which is about 11 more than you’ve eaten in the past year.

3.  Another things to accept is that you’re going to be saying a lot that yes– the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs is beautiful, especially the meeting rooms!  I could see Pikes Peak and there were ducks on the tiny man-made lake and it was 80 degrees and sunny.  And I was outside exactly 12.4 minutes of every day, mostly rushing from one building to another.

I also heard the spa is incredibly but I don’t know first hand.  And they have TV in Colorado Springs?  I have no clue.  What I can tell you is there was hot water in the shower and the beds were comfortable.  Oh, and they left chocolates on your pillow, which I hoarded in my purse for when I needed a mid-day sugar kick after 5 hours of sleep.

4.  The meeting did go fan-fucking-tastic.  Seriously.  Members were happy, the bosses were happy, no one cried.  All of the things I was anxious about pre-board meeting went A-OK.  There was a minor meltdown  but as my boss said, “it’s not a meltdown if you and I are the only ones that know about it.”  So problem solved.

I did walk into the mens bathroom during the welcome reception and party.  Sober too!  Note to self: don’t email, walk and search for the bathroom in a strange place.  Thank the heavens above that no one was in there.  I was thrilled about that.  Everyone else was disappointed.

5.  I landed at DC late on Friday night and got a text from my boss saying that she was stuck in Denver and not schedule to arrive at IAD until after 1AM.   I instantly felt anxious, even back safe and sound in DC.  All I could think about was the sleep-deprived-SO-ready-to-be-home epic fucking meltdown I would’ve had if I would have been stuck.

I am almost certain there would have been tears and foot stomping and yelling at a poor unsuspecting gate agent who was 100% not to blame.  I would not have been proud of myself.  The boss really took one for the team there.

6.  I am flying to Minnesota tomorrow.  The idea of standing in line for security and taking off my shoes and boarding a plane sounds like the absolute worst thing ever right now, but I’m excited for some quality Minnesota time.  I’ll be at the cabin if you need me with my momma and Gigi and baby D, now 1 month old and adorable.  I’m going to snuggle that kiddo until my blood pressure returns to pre-pre-board meeting levels.  Like when I was a little bit bored at the office in January levels.  It’s going to be delightful.

7.  There is one rule at the cabin this weekend: one can only wear pants with elastic.  I packed all my leggings, a couple t-shirts, a polar fleece jacket, Toms and my Nook.  That’s all one needs in such a situation.  It’s very funny to be planning a weekend at the cabin with burping and breast feeding and a baby, as last time I was at the cabin with Gigi it was for her bachelorette party.  Which went something like this.  We’re going to pack the life-sized cutout of the now husband in case Baby D gets lonesome for his daddy.

8.  The only real thing I had to accomplish this week was typing up the meeting minutes, which doesn’t sound that hard, right?  Well, it is when your notes for the meeting are utter nonsense and actually include “these notes will make no sense to you next week” and you really really don’t want to do it.  I did absolutely everything I could to not write them, including writing 22 handwritten and completely unnecessary thank you notes.  I think I’m almost finished though.

9.  I’ve just realized that this is mostly work-related, but that’s OK.  The important thing to note is that I haven’t actually fallen off the face of the earth.  Just kind of.  I’m alive, kicking, and doing quite well as a matter of fact.  I’ll be doing better though when I’m not just absolutely exhausted.  I’m certain than I’ll be more witty.  Happy Memorial weekend  y’all.

10.  Song of the week (or maybe month– because that might be how long until I post again):

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Some Things on Thursday

I haven’t quite mastered the balance between spending an entire work day editing dense policy documents and fucking with track changes (because track changes is the worst) and thinking really hard about effect vs. affect (because I may never instinctively know that) and then sitting down at my Mac when I get home to blog.  Because quite frankly, I don’t want to type another word or worry about another comma the second I leave this place at 5PM.

But Roommate B’s girlfriend J (known from here on out as GFJ, because that makes sense),who is also in communications in an industry very similar to my own, and also a sometimes-when-I-feel-like-it blogger, and I have decided to recommit to tend to our little blogs.  And say nice things to each other about the words we successfully get on paper.  So we’ve got that going for us.

I’m afraid I’m going to greatly disappoint GFJ right off the bat though– when I steadfastly refuse to only put one space between sentences.  But I assume that’s something we can work through.

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This year has been a start.  My friend’s mother passed away, my uncle passed away, my great-aunt passed away.  One per month in 2013.  While very sad, it’s be a nice reminder that life is always a little sweeter than you think.  And to not sweat the small stuff.  And it’s all kind of small stuff.

In other news, my cousin had a baby girl.  I think she’s #65 if you add up the cousins and the spouses and the great-grand babies.  As my aunts say, we come from a tribe.

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I was “snowed in” with Tsunami the dog, who choose to sleep completely under the bed, I assume to protest his owner Bree’s absence. I may walk him and feed him and pet him, but I just don’t quite add up.  Or he agrees with most people I’ve ever shared a bed with that I steal the covers.

Not a single snowflake stuck to the ground in Northeast D.C. yesterday, but work was still called off, so I conference called and responded to emails in my pajamas and didn’t shower until 5PM.  I made an egg scramble with bacon and cheddar cheese and broccoli  for breakfast and silently thanked Bree’s mother for buying her a Keurig coffee machine* for Christmas and finished season three of Downton Abby.

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We have a new roommate, Roommate S!  He hails from the great state of Pennsylvania and is a lobbyist and is currently sleeping on an air mattress   And that’s about all I know about him.  But he seems nice and like he’ll fit into the frat house very well.

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And that’s about all I have for you this morning.  We’re all doing just fine.  The sun is shining.  I made it to work on time. My hair is just as frizzy as I suspected and my clothes match.  It’s going to be a good day.

*The local coffee shop is closed while new owners take over, the day would have been a disaster without that Keurig.

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10 on Thursday

1.  I took a break from perfecting my early 2000s hip hop Pandora station to listen to some Top 40s this morning.  I accidentally listened to 45 whole seconds of a Justin Bieber song and now I’m ashamed of myself.  Back to T.I.

2.  My mother is town this weekend, which is delightful.  I’m going to eat delicious food and drink delicious wine and make her tell me repeatedly that I’m the best daughter a woman could ask for. This is the second mother visiting the frat house in the last month, as Roommate B’s momma came to nurse him after he got his tonsils out the week of Thanksgiving.

Update on that: He thinks shit sucks, but is finally able to almost eat solid food. We considered feeding him baby bird style, but then realized that was extra gross and gave him more pudding.  Kidding, we never considered doing that.

3.  A funny story about my mother–

I made some pesto pasta for dinner a while back.  After I finished my bowl of pasta, I looked into the pesto jar and realized it was full of mold.  Easy mistake to make.  Pesto is green.  Mold is green.  I called my mother panicked and asked if I was going to die.

“No, honey,” she said, “I fed you lots of mold as a child.  You’ll be fine.”  Good lookin’ out, ma.

4.  We got a new roommate, which has brought my home back to it’s full South Carolina glory.  Roommate F has conveniently forgotten he’s from Illinois and as dedicated Gamecock, embraced South Carolina as his mother land.  So much so that after many many beers and a Nats game two years ago, he thought it wise to get the South Carolina flag tattooed on his back at an establishment on Pennsylvania called Off Da Hook Tattoo.

5.  I was delighted to have Roommate F move in, mostly for one reason and one reason alone (besides him being a very nice person)– a monthly cleaning service.  I saw my opportunity to negotiate and conquered.  My house smelled so amazingly like industry strength cleaning products when I got home from work Tuesday, I was tempted to eat off our counter tops.  And then thought better of it, being that they’re the mice super highway and all.

6.  I’ve lived by myself before, which is mostly great– except for the only person to blame for all the dishes in the sink is yourself and you have no one to turn to when you’re totally freaked out after a Law and Order: SVU marathon and you never arrive home on Sunday afternoons to find impromptu football parties.

There is nothing like walking into a house full of friends, beer, chili on the stove and most importantly of all, cheese dip.  And of course a nice young man willing to make you more cheese dip because it was almost gone.

7.  A follow-up on my pasta date:  I did shovel pasta into my mouth and it was surprisingly delicious.  I had my doubts about Vapiano mostly because I was so confused about how to get my food, but for “fast casual” or whatever it’s called, I enjoyed my noodles and sauce.  Especially since they didn’t even attempt to put peas in my carbonara.  Everyone knows peas are gross.

8.  I texted my date on my train ride home the following:  There is a woman on the train with a chain connection her nose ring to her earring with a giant ass cross hanging from the chain against her cheek.  Super important question– would you go out with my if I attempted such style?

He responded, “No, don’t do that.”  I can’t imagine why he’d feel that way, I think I’d make that style look good.

9.  I laughed about this New Yorker post for mostly 5 minutes.

10.  Song of the week.  This is why the 2000s hip hop Pandora station is bringing it all day long.

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10 on Thursday

1.  What?  What is this?  A 10 on Thursday?  I’m just as shocked as you are, but I figure I should use this $1200 Mac for something other than streaming Sons of Anarchy episodes.  Maybe.

I’m tired and have dinner plans at 7PM, so it will be slightly half-assed and poorly edited, but I posted!  That counts for something, right?

2.  I know I’ve mentioned this before– I have a so far unsuccessful goal of trying to get incredibly tall men into Smart Cars.  Merely for my own entertainment and to take pictures.  I’m on the second day of negotiations with a friend topping at 6’5″ and he doesn’t seem anywhere near convinced that this is a good plan.

I just want to be amused and to take pictures.  With that said, if you are over 6 feet tall and want to be my first model for a project I’ve titled “Big Fucking Dudes in Tiny Fucking Cars” let me know.  Barrington, I know you love and me will particpate in exchange for Thanksgiving dinner.

3.  Both my parents decided October would be a great time to take a vacation.  My dad is in Nepal for 5 weeks and my mother was jetting around on a houseboat in Lake Powell with all her siblings.  Rough life, guys.

For four whole days last week those vacations overlapped.  Vacations to places that involved no cell phone reception.  What kind of parents are you?  What if your daughter wanted to have the briefest work-related meltdown?  She had no parent to call!  Good thing I’ve got a lot of ringers, yeah?

4.  Due to my father’s grand adventure, I have his 4 tortoises living in a tub in my basement.  These tortoises are proof we’re conditioned as human beings to love whatever is in our care, as I worry that they’re lonely or cold or hungry all day.  And I never gave them much thought before (unless I was on a search and rescue mission).

5.  Of course my father forgot to leave me with worms and due to my deep deep dislike for the red line train, I actually ordered worms on the internet and paid $11 in shipping to avoid going to the Petco in Van Ness.  That’s love.

6.  I had 3 beers for dinner last night and decided it’d be a super great plan to sign up for match.com.  I am still not sure what I was thinking but I blame Pay Pal.  If I would’ve had to get out of bed to walk to my purse to get my credit card, it never would’ve happened.  But type in my e-mail address and password?  Easy!

7.  I’m signed up for a month and have decided to give it 30 days of the old college try.  And I use the term “try” very loosely, because I still refuse to date people that live in Rockville.  Or have cats.  And will still be suspicious of men claiming to be 5’7″ because every knows they’re really 5’5″.

8.  For a variety of different reasons, I’m currently down on a couple people in my life that used to stress me the hell out.  All this stress-free living is amazing.  I’m not grinding my teeth at night.  Grind free sleeping!  It’s a damn miracle. My shoulders are not all up near my ears all day, which got my a high five from my pilates instructor.

I spent a lot of time and energy beings SO STRESSED the last year about work and about job hunting and about this, that and the other thing and now I’m not.  I have much less to talk about.

9.  I’ve almost been in DC for four years, so GO NATS!

10.  Song of the week.  I think I’m finally over my “Call me Maybe” phase, but have moved on to this business.

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10 on Thursday

1.  Today is my LAST DAY of work.  I’ve been bored to tears more or less since I gave notice, so I’m pretty excited about this.  The idea of going home to clean the shit out of my house is actually appealing because it will be productive.

2.  I have about 10 days off before I start my new job and I am extremely excited about this, because many exciting things are happening (in addition to cleaning the shit out of my house) before then.  My cousin Josephina is coming to visit this weekend and then I’m flying home to Minnesota for Gigi’s wedding.  We did the stag party right, so I assume the wedding will be equally as awesome.

3.  Josephine is one of the best house guests ever because she loves a solid nap as much as I do.  Or if I look at her and say–listen girl, welcome to DC.  It’s raining, so we’re going to watch a movie, she’s all for it.  Or– listen girl, my rugby friend from college is in town so we’re going to take car bomb shots at 1PM on a Sunday.  Equally down.  That’s a good cousin and house guest.

4.  But prior to Josephine’s arrival, after I clean the shit out of my household and sleep until noon and wrangle every article of business attire I have to the dry cleaners, I’m doing something even more exciting than mid-day car bombs– I’m going trapezing!

I’d like to say that I’m going to glide through the air with the greatest of ease, but realistically speaking I’ll most likely suck at it.  I’m not the most coordinated person on earth and while I’m sure I’ll talk a whole shit ton of game, I’m sure I’ll climb up the ladder and be real scared.

5.  I promise to take pictures.  And probably video.

6.  With the completion of my job is also the remove of my electronic tether.  I handed over my blackberry to the new assistant yesterday and my iPad this morning.  Everything feels so light when you only have one phone to carry around and you instantly feel like less of an asshole.

There was once I was checking something on my iPad, responding to my boss on my blackberry and calling a co-worker on my personal phone at the same time.  I’ve never been so ashamed of myself.

7.  Or super proud of my super business lady multi-tasking skills because we all know that was a rough start.

8.  With that said, I’m without a computer or any means to blog for about a week, so bear with me.  It might also take some time to adjust to the new job and their expectations of internet usage during the work day, so bear with me there as well.  Feel free to call or e-mail if you’re worried I’m dead.  I won’t be.  Just extra busy running around town in a power suit and running shit.

9.  I do have Tuesday and Wednesday off in the District next week before heading to the 612.  Does anyone have some great must do daytime activities holler at the girl not working for me?

10.  I’ve literally had this song in my head for about 3 days now.  And I’m only a little bit ashamed.  And that shame has mostly to do with posting the Bieber version of the song.

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10 on Thursday

1.  I would like to formally thank 3M for the invention of post-it notes.  I’m not certain how I would survive my day-to-day office duties without them.  I know that’s a lame intro, but whatever it’s true.

2.  I had to drive my CEO’s wife’s car to our office yesterday and found it oddly satisfying to listen to really loud rap music in her car.  I have no idea why that it was so satisfying, but it was.  I do know that mid-afternoon DC traffic calls for really loud music, so you better believe I was jamming.

3.  Speaking of jams– Brother Ali is coming to the 9:30 Club in September.  First question, does anyone in the DC area know who he is?  Second question, does anyone want to go with me?  I went to Brother Ali’s first headliner show way back when I was in high school.  And then may or may not have skinny dipped in a public lake after the concert.

4.  Roommate B discovered an app called I’d Cap That that provides random captions to your pictures.  It pretty much amused me for the majority of Saturday night.  Mostly captioning pictures of my brother Jack.

 
Before you get all– I can’t believe you’d say that about your brother!– on me, I’m here for the gangbang is from a movie, y’all.

5.  I was so engrossed in my book last night (I’d say it was more engaging than actually quality literature) that I got on the blue line going the wrong way and ended up at Foggy-Bottom.  I’ve only been going the same direction to get home for 2 1/2 years.  It’s a learning curve.  It’s OK.

6.  Roommate B was out late on a school night this week, which is a rare occurrence.  At 10:30PM, I texted him to make sure he was still alive and then promptly fell asleep.  That’s how much I care about Roommate B.  Safety first!

7.  I tried to make my favorite meal– bacon/brussel sprouts with a side of mac and cheese– for dinner Sunday night and made a mess of it.  First off, frozen brussel sprouts are the grossest things in the whole world ever.  Second, melting cheese in the microwave and mixing it onto buttered noodles does not macaroni and cheese make.  You heard it here first.  Buy fresh and out of the box.

8.  We turned out the Olympics after the staff meeting this afternoon and started to speculate about the happenings of the Olympic village.  Apparently it’s something along the lines of 25 condoms per person that are being distributed and I’m assuming used.

“That’s a lot,” my co-worker said, “because hypothetically, one condom can be used for two people.”

9.  I’ve started systematically deleting facebook friends and it’s surprisingly fun.  Annoying status about HaTiNg AlL tHe DrAmA?  Deleted!  Can’t remember who you are for 20 seconds?  Deleted!

10.  Our song of the week.  Because I had this stuck in my head all week.  And there is something about his voice that makes me OMG I’ll give you all my dollars.  Cash or check?

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10 on Thursday

1.  Greetings!  I hope everyone is having a lovely day.  Mine is fairing well to moderately well, which is nice.

2.  This is more or less the best thing I’ve ever read: America’s Top 5 Most & Least Fuckable Presidents

To quote:  The Honorable Unfuckable President: William Howard Taft.  Way to get stuck in a fucking bathtub and have yourself remembered as the fattest president to ever exist.

I saw a model of his bathtub on display at National Archives a couple years ago.  It’s GIGANTIC.  I had to control every ounce of my being to not get inside the bathtub to see how I fit.

3.  Another side note, Taft’s campaign song was “Get on the Raft with Taft”.  If that dude was large enough to get stuck in a White House bathtub, you’d most certainly capsize kicking it with him on a raft.  I hope no one took that song literally.

4.  THANK THE UNIVERSE THAT HEAT WAVE IS OVER.  And yes, the caps are entirely necessarily.  If you don’t think so, you obviously don’t live on the East Coast or have far better air conditioning than we do at my house.  If one more person from Minnesota told me how nice it was at the cabin over the weekend, I was going to burst into tears.

5.  I spent most of Sunday afternoon lying in my bed as close the window unit as possible watching episodes of Big Love.  I made one trek out of the house for coffee and immediately returned.  It was literally too hot to walk 4 blocks.

6.  We’ve been watching the documentary Being Elmo over lunch at work and everyone keeps getting all teary-eyed.  It’s so sweet.  If you haven’t seen it and have any sort of tiny affection whatsoever for the underdog and kids following their dreams and Elmo, you need to watch it immediately.  And if you don’t like the movie, you probably have no soul.

6.  I biked from Woodley Park to Stadium-Armory Monday night in under 35 minutes.  That’s fast like lightning.  No one seems to be as impressed with my super fast biking skills as I am, but that’s cool.

7.  I purchased a ticket to Chicago the last weekend in July.  I am mostly excited that BFF4EVA now works mornings so she won’t try to kill me by keeping me out drinking until 4AM every night.  I’m going to be 25 years old.  I’m no longer a spring chicken.

8.  My trip to Chi-town is going to be coming off 4 days in Wisconsin.  Do you know what you do in Wisconsin for 4 days?  You eat nothing but cheese curds and meat sticks and drink delicious delicious beer.  And that is all you do.  It would kind of be the best place ever if I wasn’t from Minnesota.  Because since I’m from Minnesota, Wisconsin sucks as a general rule.

9.  I saw this guy walking up Capitol Hill last night.  I’m not sure if you can really grasp what’s going on here, but he’s wearing a long, fancy coat in 80+ degree weather and a very spiffy hat.

10.  In honor of the heat wave, our song of the week:

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10 on Thursday – AMERICA!

1.  Happy (belated) birthday, ‘Muuuurica!  I only remember birthdays these days if there are Facebook reminders and even then I forget half the time.  I hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday and remembered to go show up at the office this morning.  I was certainly confused about what day of the week it was for most of yesterday.  But I was also a bit on the hungover side, so there’s that.

2.  Speaking of hangovers.  I will certainly be blaming the high temperatures in Washington, DC for yesterday’s.  Being outside in the District is like INSTANT dehydration/immediate potential of passing out.  I can actually feel the sun touching me.  And it is not a warm and fuzzy feeling, as one would imagine it to be when dreaming of summer during a blizzard in February.  It’s terrible.  I do solemnly swear never to bitch about winter ever again.

3.  I also did not know one could sweat this much.  Like seriously, dudes.  How is anyone supposed to date when the temperature is in the triple digits.  How do you introduce yourself?  Hi, my name is Rachel.  Normally my hair isn’t this gigantic (humidity!), nor is my make-up sweating off my face.  But you look like shit too!  Want to grab a drink sometime?

4.  There is no one in the office this week and I have a very limited list of things to do.  Most of which I accomplished by 10AM Monday and that included a 30 minute coffee break.  I’ve spent the last hour trying to figure out how to fish-tail braid my hair.  It’s only working well to moderately well.

5.  I bought an iPhone this week and it’s been stressful.  When I first left the Sprint store, I was tempted to ask for bubble wrap to properly secure it in my purse.  I’m told I will no longer be afraid of it very soon.  Most likely around the first time I drop it and it doesn’t shatter into a million pieces.  If it does, however, shatter into a million pieces, I will most likely be scared of it forever and return to my purple phone that did two things: text and make phone calls.  And did neither thing well.

6.  I am looking forward to Instagraming the shit out of everything.  Or as I accidentally call it once– hipstagraming.

7.  I don’t know if I’ve mentioned my favorite July game lately– gunshot or fireworks?  A Capitol Hill tradition since…well, I assume forever.  We could see most of the fireworks from the Mall yesterday evening from a friend’s rooftop porch (Senate Square was all up in our way) but quickly turned our attention away from the Mall to watch the rogue fireworks shows going on in the neighborhood.  They were better.  Probably because there was the added thrill that they might hit us in the face.  They didn’t.

The fear was a little more founded biking home from the party.  At one point, a firework shot into a top of the tree and embers fell down to the ground in front of me seconds before I biked under said tree.  At least I was wearing my helmet.  Safety first.

8.  How come no one has bought me one of these muscle shirts yet?

9.  This happened.  And I think it’s hilarious.  Like so so funny.  HUGE fail, San Diego.

10.  Song of the week.

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5 on Friday

1.  I stood in my living room last night wearing extra large USA basketball shorts that I liberated from a guy friend in high school and one of my college rugby t-shirts.  I had just shoveled cheese pizza into my mouth, was drinking whiskey on the rocks out of a red solo cup and swearing like a truck driver.

I had the following 3 thoughts:  I understand why people have questioned my sexuality before.  At least at this very moment.  (Note:  I clean up very very nice.)

Secondly, I don’t know if living in the frat house has A.) ruined me or B.) help me find my true inner self.  Maybe this version of me was there all along and they just helped my true colors shine.  Roommate B first said I’m great just the way I am and then after another wildly inappropriate conversation in which I participated said— maybe you should move out.  We’ve ruined you.

And last, it’s really going to take a special special man to want to marry me and love me just the way I am.  So there is that.

2.  I signed up for Cars2Go yesterday* for the sole purpose of cruising around town in a Smart Car yelling– zoom! zoom!  I had a Zip Car Membership for practical things like going to the grocery store for the past year and didn’t use it once.  My Cars2Go membership will purely be for joy riding and looking awesome.

3.  Those cars look extremely tiny and being that I am an extremely tiny person, I will have no problem fitting behind the wheel.  I am, however, curious how tall people will fair in a Smart Car and will be experimenting accordingly.  So if you are an incredibly tall human– I’m going to need to see if you fit in my rented ride.  Danny Mac, I’m looking at you.

4.  Roommate B has already stated his refusal to ever get in a Smart Car ever ever ever.  He will not date a woman that drives a Smart Car and would rather walk 80 miles alone than get in one and look stupid.  I am going to test this theory by leaving him in Bethesda on a Sunday afternoon when it’s raining.  The thought of red line on a Sunday alone should be enough to change his mind, but he’s stubborn as hell.

5.  I kept forgetting all week that we had Monday off, which was the best surprise every time it was brought to my attention.  I plan on eating a whole ton of hot dogs, drinking a moderate amount of beer and enjoying the hell out of the Memorial Day Parade.  Because there is absolutely nothing in this world like a good marching band.  Right, Mom?

Hope y’all have a good weekend!  Back at it Tuesday at 9AM.

 

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