Tag Archives: GRE

10 on Thursday / 2 + 1 = Today’s Post

Because I’m feeling lazy.  And that simple arithmetic problem is as close as I’ve come to studying for the GREs in weeks.

1.  A happy belated birthday to Hilarity in Shoes!  I actually knew it was your birthday all day yesterday, just failed to acknowledge it.  I’m very sorry.  Please feel free to now forget mine (it’s July 29th).

2.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it one hundred times.  Fuck pollen and the plants they grow on.  I walked past some freshly cut grass yesterday evening and my eyes got so watery and my nose got so runny that I had to lie down when I got home.  No frolicking through meadows or rolling down hills for me until shit quits blooming apparently.

3.  My co-worker B has a raging case of pink eye, which has people around the office feeling a bit nervous.  I’m resisting all urges to make mittens out of lysol wipes whenever I have to be in 3 feet of her person and/or touch anything she might have touched ever.

4.  Co-worker B is not a fan of eye drops and said as much to the doctor yesterday afternoon during her appointment.  Finding out that she lived alone and was unattached– the doctor advised her to go to a bar, have a couple drinks, find a cute boy, take him home with her and ask him to administer the eye drops.  Because that’s super sexy.  At least the good doctor has a sense of humor.

5.  Turns out co-worker B didn’t go trolling for a cute boy last night and has enlisted my services during business hours.  Her instructions to me as follows: shake the bottle of eye drops well, put one drop in each eye, don’t let the bottle touch my eye or else I’ll reinfect myself and watch out because I might try to hit you.

She claims the hitting thing was a reflex.  I instructed her to sit on her hands.  She didn’t actually hit me, I’m pleased to report.

5.  I’ve been averaging a 9:05AM arrival time at work as of late, but managed to make it here before 8:59AM every single day this week.  I stated at a volume slightly higher than necessary “on time again!” Wednesday morning as I walked into the office just as one of the vice presidents rounded the corner.  Damnit.

6. Skip past 2 minutes for this song to get real good.

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How-to Guide

How-to:  Put out a toast oven fire

I’ve been obsessed with eating baked chickpeas lately.  It’s my new favorite snack and I’m fairly certain better for me than my second favorite snack– potato chips and french onion dip.  Or beef jerky depending on the day.

I turned on the toaster oven the other night and went about rinsing and seasoning the chickpeas.  When I opened the toaster oven to insert said chickpeas, I noticed that there was something in the toaster oven that was in flames.  What did I do?  I put down the baking sheet, walked into the living room and said to Roommate B, “Hey dude, the toaster oven is on fire.”

Problem solved!  Roommate B put out the fire, made fun of me, I baked my chickpeas and then enjoy my slightly smoky flavored snack on the front porch accompanied by Liza, Brynn and a glass of wine.

How-to:  Disappoint my super bad ass mother

Admit that I made Roommate B put out the toaster oven fire.  And Roommate A remove the dead mouse from my bedroom this winter.

How-to: Fail the GRE

Well, that’s obvious– not study.  It was brought to my attention, via T-Bone, that ALL of your GRE scores are reported when you apply to grad school.  Every single one.  Even that one terrible score you got in March of 2012 because you didn’t actually study.  As T-Bone so succinctly put it, “we can’t just the tip* the GREs to see how it feels.”

So we rescheduled until June.  We’re not sure if we’ll actually study more in the next couple of months, but at least we’re no longer resigning ourselves to failing and have allowed time for a GRE-related attitude adjustment.  Because if the practice test I took a couple weeks ago was any indication of my score, I would have been fast-tracked to Phoenix University online and lucky to be there.

How-to:  Have a progress dinner

Eat all foods when they are finished cooking while standing in the kitchen– green beans (fuck it, eat cold), turkey sausage (around 6:15PM), rice (6:50PM) , chickpeas (7PM) — right out of the pot, pan or baking sheet.  Put in tupperware.  Go to pilates.

*That is why we’re friends.  She used a metaphor about unprotected sex–you can’t just put the tip in to see how it feels– to discuss the graduate school examination.  T-Bone, you’re top notch.

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10 on Thursday

The Happy Birthday and GRE Edition!

1.  Meet Barrington, my friendly companion.

This is one of two pictures I can find of us together.  He may have had a black eye and I was about 20 years old, a recent college graduate and on a quite the bender if I remember correctly, but don’t we look cute?  I am almost positive tequila shots immediately followed this picture being taken.

2.  This is the other picture.  About 2 years ago– also a a bar.

I am fairly certain I was feeling up his pectoral muscles, because they are nice, ladies.  Barrington is 6 foot something of solid American rugby muscle.  You’d want to touch his pecs too.

3.  And all of this is important, because today is his birthday!  HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY, BARRINGTON!!!

4.  Barrington and I first met on my 19th birthday.  At a bar.  He was very confused as to why a 19 year old was celebrating her birthday in a bar and I was very confused why he was being mean to me on my birthday.  Fake IDs dude, fake IDs.  And I had a lot of them.

5.  The start of our friendship, after I forgave him for being mean to me on my birthday, was a month later–  fueled by a very drunk Labor Day party, the invention of Facebook chat and a lovely Friday evening spent at a German festival in Chicago.  It was our first friend-date.  From that day forward, I got to feel his pecs at my leisure.  I’m such a lucky girl.

Barrington– I hope you have a lovely day and I’m sorry I’m not there to celebrate with you.

6.  Today is picture day at work.  The picture of me on our website is terrible and was mildly traumatizing to take.  It was my first week on the job and I was still adjusting to the whole wake up early and put on big girl clothes thing, so I’m looking forward to a do-over.

I even took extra care with my hair and make- up this morning so the photographer couldn’t make fun of me again.  I won’t forget to smile!

7.  There was another birthday this week that I failed to mention during my partial hiatus.  Natalie, my favorite Republican and the best Valentine’s Day date of all time turned 27 (I think) on Tuesday.  Happy birthday, Natalie!  Natalie would like to formally request an apology from President Obama for interrupting her big day with the State of the Union address.  How rude.

8.  I signed up for the GRE’s this week, which seems both nuts and expensive.  With the $160 for the test and another $40 for the prep materials, I could have bought myself many many cute pairs of shoes.  Oh well, I guess I’m investing in my future and brain and shit.  My brain better cooperate and relearn math or I’m going to be really upset.

9.  Seriously–it’s been over 6 years since I’ve done any math beyond figuring out what to tip the waitress, so I might be screwed in that regard.  If I’m freaking out in a month about what the hell Y = MX + B means, please remind me to calm down.

10.  Back on the blue grass kick.  I’ve been listening to this song non-stop for the better part of the week.

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