Tag Archives: tortoise

10 on Thursday

1.  What?  What is this?  A 10 on Thursday?  I’m just as shocked as you are, but I figure I should use this $1200 Mac for something other than streaming Sons of Anarchy episodes.  Maybe.

I’m tired and have dinner plans at 7PM, so it will be slightly half-assed and poorly edited, but I posted!  That counts for something, right?

2.  I know I’ve mentioned this before– I have a so far unsuccessful goal of trying to get incredibly tall men into Smart Cars.  Merely for my own entertainment and to take pictures.  I’m on the second day of negotiations with a friend topping at 6’5″ and he doesn’t seem anywhere near convinced that this is a good plan.

I just want to be amused and to take pictures.  With that said, if you are over 6 feet tall and want to be my first model for a project I’ve titled “Big Fucking Dudes in Tiny Fucking Cars” let me know.  Barrington, I know you love and me will particpate in exchange for Thanksgiving dinner.

3.  Both my parents decided October would be a great time to take a vacation.  My dad is in Nepal for 5 weeks and my mother was jetting around on a houseboat in Lake Powell with all her siblings.  Rough life, guys.

For four whole days last week those vacations overlapped.  Vacations to places that involved no cell phone reception.  What kind of parents are you?  What if your daughter wanted to have the briefest work-related meltdown?  She had no parent to call!  Good thing I’ve got a lot of ringers, yeah?

4.  Due to my father’s grand adventure, I have his 4 tortoises living in a tub in my basement.  These tortoises are proof we’re conditioned as human beings to love whatever is in our care, as I worry that they’re lonely or cold or hungry all day.  And I never gave them much thought before (unless I was on a search and rescue mission).

5.  Of course my father forgot to leave me with worms and due to my deep deep dislike for the red line train, I actually ordered worms on the internet and paid $11 in shipping to avoid going to the Petco in Van Ness.  That’s love.

6.  I had 3 beers for dinner last night and decided it’d be a super great plan to sign up for match.com.  I am still not sure what I was thinking but I blame Pay Pal.  If I would’ve had to get out of bed to walk to my purse to get my credit card, it never would’ve happened.  But type in my e-mail address and password?  Easy!

7.  I’m signed up for a month and have decided to give it 30 days of the old college try.  And I use the term “try” very loosely, because I still refuse to date people that live in Rockville.  Or have cats.  And will still be suspicious of men claiming to be 5’7″ because every knows they’re really 5’5″.

8.  For a variety of different reasons, I’m currently down on a couple people in my life that used to stress me the hell out.  All this stress-free living is amazing.  I’m not grinding my teeth at night.  Grind free sleeping!  It’s a damn miracle. My shoulders are not all up near my ears all day, which got my a high five from my pilates instructor.

I spent a lot of time and energy beings SO STRESSED the last year about work and about job hunting and about this, that and the other thing and now I’m not.  I have much less to talk about.

9.  I’ve almost been in DC for four years, so GO NATS!

10.  Song of the week.  I think I’m finally over my “Call me Maybe” phase, but have moved on to this business.


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10 on Thursday – A Lot About Animals

1.  My supervisor’s last day is tomorrow.  I refused to RSVP to her going away party in protest.  I would equate my feelings of her leaving to something along the lines of my newly-popular boyfriend dumping me for the head cheerleader, but that analogy seems like a lot of work to spell out.

2.  Duluth, Minnesota (from where my family hails) is completely underwater.  I’ve heard horror stories of water coming out of basement light fixtures, up from drains and pouring in back doors from my relatives.  But the most shocking and awesome of all– the seal making a break from the zoo.

3.  What the shit is up with this heat, DC?  I keep walking outside and thinking– hey, this isn’t that bad and then 2 blocks later I feel like my face is melting off and I’m dying.  I knew that mild winter was going to backfire.  And it has in the form of gigantic hair and shiny faces.

4.  My cousin likes to say August in DC is the great equalizer because EVERYONE looks like hell.  Look like that will actually just be the summer motto.

5.  Many many skateboarders just skateboarded down 14th Street.  What where they doing?

6.  We had a cleaning lady come to the frat house this week and I can’t even being to explain the happiness it brought me.  I just wandered around checking out all the dust-free surfaces and inhaling deeply saying– can you smell that, dudes?  Can you smell that delicious delicious scent of industrial strength cleaning supplies?  Ah.

7.  I just got a mass e-mail asking if I’d like Tim Pawlenty to come speak at my company’s next event with a subject line “Pawlenty continues to wow audiences”.  I would like to respond with this very appropriate website link.

8.  Two things to improve your day:  21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity and this.  Seriously, that lion gets me every single time.

9.  Remember that one time my dad lost his tortoise and ex-K and I spent hours and hours and hours (OK, like 1 hour but it was really hot) looking for him?  It happened again!  Turns out Louis went missing at roughly 8PM last night and was found at 6:30AM this morning safe and sound wandering around the backyard.  Dad, maybe it’s time to get these tortoises homing devises?

10.  And our song of the week!  (It sounds like they’re talking about rhinos.)

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Weekend Round-Up


I had a job interview today– the first in a while, as I decided to give myself a much needed break from job hunting the past month or so.  It seemed to go as well as you can expect, but I’m trying hard to maintain zen-like feelings.  The more I stressed about job hunting and cover letters and interviewing in the past, the more horrible of an experience it became.  I posted a couple months back about dumb questions I’ve been asked in interviews– as well as dumb answers I’ve provided.

This afternoon one of the department heads interviewing me asked what people in my current company would say about me.  In my head I was thinking sassy, sassy, sassy but finally managed to belt out “I show up on time!” and then sat back and smiled as big as I could.

It is noted on my resume that I played rugby in college.  While it may give the impression to the person interviewing me that I can chug beer like a champ– I also like to believe that it shows I am a team player and have leadership skills, as I was El Presidente (my preferred nickname) of the team my senior year.  It also means I get to say “hooker” in job interviews.

“What position did you play in rugby?”

“Ah, I was a hooker.  Sir”.  It is more fun when people know nothing about the sport and honestly think I”m talking about prostitution.


The inaugural weekend of gun shot or firework? 2011 edition commenced Friday night.  The entire month of July in Southeast DC sounds like a full blown TNT testing area.  Rouge fireworks displays are frequent, which is perfectly acceptable during the 4th of July weekend.  When you have to put grandma on hold mid-July to assess whether you should hit the deck or enjoy the fireworks display following popping noises, it gets a little more obnoxious.

In true American spirit– I drank some beer, got as close to the Mall as my moderate claustrophobia would allow, ate some hot dogs and enjoyed some American flag cake.  I even wore red, white and blue.


The highlight of my weekend (both for WTF?! and stress-related purposes) was the hour I spent searching for my father’s missing tortoise.  My dad is the proud owner of 4 such creatures that enjoy sunning themselves in the backyard on occasion.  Little Chiam slipped away from my father’s watchful gaze late Saturday morning and decided to go on a little walk-about.  My dad called me after looking for an hour, panicked because he had to leave for work.  K and I hauled it to NW to continue the hunt.

We spent an hour searching the ally and talking with neighbors for clues.  I felt very much like Nancy Drew– he was last seen in this backyard at noon!   The neighbor’s grandchild wanted to keep him!  If I was a tortoise, where would I go?  I bet a tortoise would find this particular vegetation delicious.  He was last seen with his house on his back wearing green!  It is very hard to look for something that is designed to camouflage.  After an hour of searching through gardens, creeping out neighbors and praying he knew well enough to stay away from cars, we gave up and went for bloody marys.

Luckily, my dad found Chiam later that night hiding under a trash can a couple houses up.  He had weathered the wicked storm and 12 hours of freedom.  I think he was happy to return home.  K scored points– as how many dudes can say they had to spend an afternoon looking for their girlfriend’s father’s tortoise.  And still wanted to date said girl.  I assume not many.

I hope everyone had a lovely 4th of July weekend.  Keep you  posted on the job interview and my blood pressure.  It has nowhere to go but up if the neighborhood kids don’t run out of fireworks soon.


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